> The Beesley Buzz: Word of the Week: Acceptance

Word of the Week: Acceptance


This word sums up so many areas of our lives this week:

Arthritis
On Monday I started a course of physio for my back problems (which stem from my hip problems, which go back to when I was 10 years old, so long story and one for another time). It was a group session working on core stability and it all went remarkably well. I had been concerned that it wouldn't suit me as I've tried to do things like Pilates to help but I just don't have enough range of movement to be able to do that without causing more harm. But thankfully this was all very tailored and seemed to help my back rather than worsen it.

At the end of the session the physiotherapist was explaining that we will get bad days and rather than try to just power through them and try to push through the pain (and risk making things worse for the next day) it is better to accept that it is a bad day and work with that, upping the painkillers and changing plans accordingly.

Ordinarily I hate to do that. I usually end up frustrated on the bad days and do try to carry on as far as possible as 'normal'. Although it is not often possible so I get even more frustrated. Today I woke up and my back was incredibly painful. Rather than see how long I could manage without pain killers, I accepted that it was a bad day and took some straight away.

I knew that it was likely that things would ease through the day (that is the thing with Arthritis - it is often first thing in the morning that it is at its worst) and so I tried not to get too frustrated or stressed by it. I just accepted it and focussed on getting through one task at a time without worrying about the whole day ahead.

Unwell
We all seem to have been unwell this week and that has meant a change of plans. Again I've accepted that this has meant having to have some quiet days at home. Rather than get upset about it, we've just tried to relax about it and enjoy being able to sit and watch CBeebies and our Postman Pat DVDs together.

School
This has been the big one when it comes to acceptance. We spent so many years hurt and appalled at the schooling system that we ended up embracing home-school as the best way (and I still think it truly was the only way that was right for us at the time given what J had experienced at school).

Both boys are now doing well in school. Incredibly well in fact. And whilst part of me would have loved for them to say that actually they preferred home-school, I have realised that I must accept that this is such a HUGE and POSITIVE step forward for them both to be enjoying school so much and to be thriving academically too. Home-school gave them just what they needed at the time giving them the space away from all the bad memories of school and helped them excel academically as their work was tailored specifically for them but now school is right for this season of their lives and I have got to accept that.

We've kept our references to home-school on the blog, because part of me has kept home-school as a 'back-up plan'. Even now I keep thinking to myself 'well if things don't work out, we can fall back on home-schooling'. But I think it is coming to the time to accept that things ARE working out - far better than we could ever have hoped or dreamed. I say this especially regarding J because at one stage we couldn't imagine him ever returning to school. J's current school is one with a specialist ASD unit, yet he has now been integrated for most his lessons into mainstream and so his outlook for secondary school is looking a lot more promising.

The blog is in need of a makeover (if we ever find the time to do it!) and although I'll keep our page of home-ed resource links listed somewhere on there (as they are so useful generally not just for home-schooling), I think it might be time to move on from describing ourselves as a home-schooling family as, both sadly and happily, we no longer are.

Linking up with Word of the Week:

The Reading Residence





16 comments:

  1. Accepting things can make life a lot easier x

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    1. thank you - yes i'm beginning to realise that. x

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  2. Lovely news about the boys. So worrying when things aren't right at school, experienced this recently when my little boy had a new teacher in only his second full term at school. Only had it for a week or so, but the tears and upset every morning was just so draining.

    Really glad things seem to be getting better for you.

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    1. thank you fashion mommy. School takes up such a big chunk of time that it really is important for things to be working out x

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  3. I see this as a really positive post. Acceptance sounds so passive, yet I think it's hugely empowering. It can totally change a day or a situation, if you accept it. Take the illnesses (which I hope you're all recovering from x), that could have really stressed and upset you, yet by accepting it and altering plans and expectations, it was calmer and may be even OK?! I know that if I just 'accept' and roll with a difficult day, I find it easier to manage. So pleased to hear school's going well, too, though home schooling clearly played a huge part in this success, and hope your arthritis isn't troubling you too much now x Thanks for sharing and joining in with #WotW x

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    1. thanks Jocelyn. What an eye-opening comment about the passive / empowering - ness of acceptance. I hadn't really thought of it like that but you are right. x

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  4. I have a good friend who has suffered with arthritis from the age of about 21 and I understand that she has bad times and better times - mornings not so great - cold weather not so great. I really feel for you - I think I will suffer with it when I'm older - my Grandma had it quite badly and my mum is suffering a bit with her thumbs and knees. Home schooling sounds a bit scary - so much responsibility but I'm beginning to see that sometimes that might feel like the only alternative. #WotW

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    1. thanks Sam. I just get frustrated at the unpredictability of the arthritis and it does make me grumpy when its really painful which isn't nice for the kids. x

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  5. I think its perfectly okay for you to still say home schooled because even though they attend school you put so much effort in with teaching while at home that they are being schooled in and out.

    I do hope your good days out weight the bad i regards to your back, i cant begin to know how it must feel. Hope you are all feeling a little more healthy this weekend xx

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    1. Thanks Pauly. I really do need to update the blog a bit anyway so need to find a way of showing how important home-school has been in our lives but that we're now back to school. x

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  6. Sounds like a positive week- acceptance can sound a bit like giving up but in fact it's really hard to do! I'm trying very hard to accept the things I can't change rather than get all het up about them!

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  7. Really interesting post. Acceptance is so important I think, to help us move on from whatever the experience has been, and so good that it's a step forward in a positive way for your family. #wordoftheweek

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    1. thanks so much Ruth. Everyones comments have been a real encouragement x

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  8. I think sometimes it is important to accept, whether good or bad, and move on. It allows our minds to open up to the possibility of something new! So glad you've had some positive's come out of your acceptance. #WotW

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