Inspired by...

After joining in the topic of Laughter last week, and being different for the topic the week before, I have been looking forward to this week's Striking Mum's post over at Kate on Thin Ice.

This weeks questions to use as a prompt are:
1. Tell us about a mum who inspires you. What are her special qualities?
2. Are you happy? If not, what is stopping you?
3. What little things that don’t really matter do you allow to get to you?
4. Who do you need to talk to and why are you putting it off?
5. How are you inspirational? If you are not quite sure, ask someone close to you and see what they think. We do not always see ourselves as others do.

1. Tell us about a mum who inspires you. What are her special qualities?
I have to give my own mum a mention here. I wish I could have told her how amazing she was when she was alive but like a lot of teenagers I never really appreciated her at the time and it was only when my own kids came along that I realised just how incredible she was to have brought us up single-handedly whilst living thousands of miles away from her home country and the rest of her family.

She always put us first. I always remember that she would never begin to eat a meal until she knew we had been fed. I think there is also a huge downside to putting others first to that extent as she ended up burnt out on a number of occassions and because she had no other support around, we'd end up in foster care for short periods of time which I hated.

I wish she'd been able to seek help in a more timely way before things got really bad for her.

I'm not sure if this is a quality that all mums have just as part of being a mum or if it was just her but I really felt at peace around her and she represented 'home' to me. Someone who is always there and has time for you and loves you unconditionally. And then one day, suddenly and unexpectedly, she was no longer there.

2. Are you happy? If not, what is stopping you?
In a previous Striking Mum's post, I touched upon what a worrier I was. My husband used to joke that if I didn't have anything to worry about, that would make me worry in itself.

My faith has had a huge wobble over the past year and a half interlinked with post-natal depression and that hasn't helped on the happiness front. Frustratingly, I knew I had nothing to be unhappy about and that I should be happy and that led to huge amounts of guilt because I couldn't understand why it was happening to me.

I think the post-natal depression is behind me now but until I take some small steps towards rediscovering my faith, I think I'll remain feeling unsettled. Without my faith, the world doesn't make sense to me and I don't like things not making sense.

3. What little things that don’t really matter do you allow to get to you?
Sometimes silly little worries where I think I may have upset someone. My friend texted me 'short' messages the other day and I became convinced that I must have upset her which I was totally imagining.

I hate injustices and whilst the big injustices in the world obviously do matter, I also let the little things upset me like being overcharged at the supermarket, or someone queue jumping. Those sorts of little things that really don't matter in the overall scheme of things.

I got overcharged by £4 on my old mobile phone and really does it even matter? - but because it was their error and they refused to refund it that really upset me. So poor customer service is another little niggle that gets to me more than it should.

4. Who do you need to talk to and why are you putting it off?
Not really sure about this one. I don't often speak to my dad or my siblings so perhaps its time I got in touch with them.

5. How are you inspirational? If you are not quite sure, ask someone close to you and see what they think. We do not always see ourselves as others do.
There is no way I could answer this one as I've never been one to blow my own trumpet and I don't think I can see even one positive thing about myself. So I got Richard to write a couple of sentences instead.

You are inspirational...
...in the way you unconditionally love our children, the way you put their needs first, and the way you fight for them and take a stand on their behalf, no matter the circumstances, outlook or issues.
...by learning how to bake such fantastic creations over recent months, despite never trying before.
...by being a brilliant mother, loving and devoted wife and a wonderful lifelong partner and friend.